A stop on the journey.

When you meet someone very close to you after years, hug them realising HOW much they mean to you in your life and how much you've missed just seeing that face around and talking to each other in person, seeing the change the past 4 years brought in your life, in you, and how very much things have changed. How circumstances build on you and make you who you are now. You drop a tear or two, and try to accept the change and continue to walk through this journey of yours.

Some times the past really haunts you.

Finally, welcome 2013.

In a good place right now.

Read a lot. Feel that satisfaction only an avid reader can feel.

Life seems alright.

I made it alright. :D

People judge you, but you can just as well tell them to buzz off. It doesn't really matter. Trust me. :D

Started writing again. After a really long time.

If you are not in a good space mentally, if you don't feel what you write, then it just doesn't come out. 

If its not from the heart, it doesn't connect.

I've often heard from people that my writing connects them to me. I thought it was a very common thing- till about my first year of college. Then, I realized not everyone can do that. 

Lucky me. :)

So, I went underground too scared to open my heart when I wasn't ready for it.

Now I am. It feels like home, again! :)

I am opening myself to feeling things again. Good, bad, whatever! It's worth every penny! 

Here's a hope of travel, learning, happiness, those silent moments, warmth from the ones you love, sunshine, food, snow, nature and a lot more new experiences! Second half of 2013, you better make up for the first half!

You are already showing me lots of promise. Please keep it that way.

For I fear
I might end it
the last of the relationships
from the days of yore.
That one link
which binds me
to the past
and the years gone by.
Even if it kills me,
from the inside,
my heart,
more than my mind,
is ready to take it all.
The pain,
the walls,
the ire of it on me,
et all.

Yes,
I think I am breaking from the inside,
to form something new,
with the parts of the old,
building something stronger.

From a million nerve cells at a time. Pouring from all sides.

One of those things that defines me- one of the most important things- is that if I do something, I do it whole-heartedly. Of my own accord- not because somebody told me to something. I would never do that. In fact, people who are really close to me will know what kind of a stubborn ass I am.

I never knew that I could not live with a decision somebody else took for me- my life- and it would turn out to be life-altering for me- not THIS much. This is just way freaking much than I ever bargained for.

This turned me into something else entirely. And I am clawing my way hard and steady- every single day- to not let it win. I win. I always did- and somewhere in the recent past, I lost the habit of winning on the path- I am trying really hard to find it. I need it. I am a happy person. A really happy person. And winning is important to me- it was a major part of me. It makes me happy. I really need to find it. It is not a necessity. For me, winning is when I do something with all my love for the work that I do- it isn't against somebody else. It is striving to do something better- to be able to cross the barriers you've put for yourself. To go beyond your thinking and create something beautiful. Every single day.
It is finding comfort in what you do- and I have been missing that for quite some time now.

The last four years have made me go off the rails in a way I never imagined- nor did the people I love. But experiences are to be learnt from. They make you a better person- a knowledgeable person. They make you cautious towards life- but never let your free-spiritedness go. It makes you who you are. It lets you live a life. 

It's that last final stretch- the one which will make all the difference in the world. 

All I would like to remind myself when I come back here is- from now on, I will choose my path- I will not let anyone crawl over it. I will find my destiny- no, I will make it.

This is a promise I will keep for the rest of my life- a promise to myself. I will only do something that I love, and I will never feel like this again. I will make myself a better person everyday- and I will never waiver from my principles. I will never compromise on something important in life- because I've tried it once- really really hard- and I am horrible at it. I can compromise on having karela and not aloo fry, but not on the big ones. I will never do that.

I will live, love and conquer. Because, somebody once told me- I am a pretty great girl- and I will do wonderful things. I believe that I can.

Make me feel.

I feel like someone killed that part of me. Where I used to write emotionally and feel so much.
Where I used to hang on to things that mattered to me.
And now I don't.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I am confused.

I feel like I'm tip-toeing right around the edge of it all.
Like there is a storm brewing in me.
I'm letting everything slide by me. Without as much as a crib.
It scares me to just think about that by-gone era.
But it also scares me and makes me wonder "What if  I can't write anymore?"
I couldn't imagine it. I just tried to, but I couldn't. It would kill me.
This is the way I let it all out. This is the way I speak my mind. More than I talk, I write.
In this world where my relationship with my phone and my laptop are so important because of the distances that the world has thrown onto us, this is my thing. It's what I do. I write, and I type.
I think and I feel.
and then, I write. and I write some more.

Taking this away from me would leave me vulnerable. SO vulnerable, it would leave me handicapped.

When darkness looms around

Those days when you sit,
and pray with all your heart,
to bring back the good old days.
Tis when darkness looms around.

Those days when you sit,
and beg the universe,
to give you back the lost time.
Tis when darkness looms around.

Those days when you look back,
and realise the world has moved on,
to a better place.
Tis when darkness looms around.

Those days when desperation hits you,
and desolation is brought upon,
to bring you to its path of misery.
Tis when darkness looms around.

Those days when every moment,
and every nerve cell in your body scream out,
to absorb the happiness in the world.
Tis when darkness looms around.

Yang :)

So, like I said, I am posting a happy post!
Exams bring out the best in me - they squeeze in all the creative juices in my brain and it's one of those times I think the most and thus, end up being of some use to me and the world.


I want to talk about an exercise that I came across today, which I thought was intriguing, so I decided to try it out.


The exercise is - Write down the first 10 things that come across your mind that you know to be true.


10 Things I know to be true


1) We are technology dependent, and I can only see us depending more and more on it with each passing day.
2) I indulge in a lot of movies and tv series, basically anything which has a story in it. Stories fascinate me, I half-live in them and they keep my world alive.
3) Independence - freedom, excitement & love are very important to me. Freedom is a state of mind. Excitement keeps hope alive in me. Love is the most powerful energy.
4) Everyone should travel. It is one of the best learning experiences.
5) Mothers are the strongest people in the world. I don't know what I'd do without mine.
6) Time - best teacher and healer. Everyday we learn something.
7) Understanding me - atleast 75%- the reasons behind why I do what I do - is very difficult. One of those days, somebody will get through.
8) You need to find who you are. If you fail this, it doesn't matter what else you find.
9) Communication is the key. In every and all situations.
10) The world, is about to change, and we are leaving a foot-print with a drink of life on it.