Friday, May 18, 2012

Make me feel.

I feel like someone killed that part of me. Where I used to write emotionally and feel so much.
Where I used to hang on to things that mattered to me.
And now I don't.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I am confused.

I feel like I'm tip-toeing right around the edge of it all.
Like there is a storm brewing in me.
I'm letting everything slide by me. Without as much as a crib.
It scares me to just think about that by-gone era.
But it also scares me and makes me wonder "What if  I can't write anymore?"
I couldn't imagine it. I just tried to, but I couldn't. It would kill me.
This is the way I let it all out. This is the way I speak my mind. More than I talk, I write.
In this world where my relationship with my phone and my laptop are so important because of the distances that the world has thrown onto us, this is my thing. It's what I do. I write, and I type.
I think and I feel.
and then, I write. and I write some more.

Taking this away from me would leave me vulnerable. SO vulnerable, it would leave me handicapped.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Rammy,

    The kind of people we are - we are thinkers, the ones who like to dig - deep and long and figure out whats in the bottom. Cause, we know and we believe there is always something at the bottom. That there is always some light at the end of the tunnel.

    Having said that, I want to assure you that this part of you is never going to die. Yes, it may go dormant for a while. For weeks, months and even years. But it wont die. It might convert - you may stop writing and pick something else up that helps you - satisfies you. But it wont ever leave you. And thats the best thing about being so introspective and conscious about your self.

    Just believe.

    Love!

    ReplyDelete

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